Is my communication with male friends disrespectful to my boyfriend?

I am 29 years old and haven't been in many meaningful relationships. I've always been a commitment phobe. I don't have a lot of girlfriends but I have a small group of guyfriends that I've maintained friendship with from my teen years that I met thru doing music. Ranging from 9 yr to 13 yr friendships. Needless to say I'm very comfortable in my skin around these guys. The thing is even though we have non sexual relationships with some of them I have had intimacy. The last time being in 2006. My bf who is now my ex who hates me,lol thinks I am innapropriate for talking to them the way that I do. It's not that I'm flirting its more of that my convo is very comfortable. Ist friend frm 13 yrs back is like a best firend. I used to have a crush on him when I was a teen but hell that was back n tha day. We both still do music and I drove outta town and crashed at his place while he was in audio engineering school so we cld work on some stuff. 1 text was teasing him on his bday. He is a comedic guy who is also kinda vain and is always saying vain stuff, but we laff about it. I will usually say obnoxiously vain stuff to him as well. On his bday in a text I wrote my cakes are the most delicious and moist in the world. My ex saw the text in my phone and lost it. He thinks we have been screwin round the whole time. Now the guy I was wit in 06 is my producer. My bf had asked if I had ever been with him and out of embarrassment I said no. Turns out he went thru my email and found an old message frm 06. Me n bf hooked up in 2010 by the way. He goes off about that saying its no way I'm not still screwing him. The other guy friend (last one) texted when he wa down n out after a court case who I talked to earlier saying he needed a hug n I responded " I got u". Got blanked on about that too. Am I wrong or is this dude crazy? Am I dealing wit these guys innapropriately? Bf is gone now, but I don't want this problem again.