(boy trouble?) what do i do!?!?

Im a 13 year old in 7th grade and sadly have not had my first kiss. Sadly. My dad said i could have a boy friend. Hes Alright with it. My homies are sophie and kenzie (they r both bi, but im straight).And our guy friend nathan. Well ive had a crush on him for five months. (Way too long) i met these friends this year at my new school. Well last year sophie went out with nathan, this year so did kenzie, and sophie again. They both kissed him. And he is totally in love with sophie. Soph just wants to be friends. Currently soph is going out with kenzie. Nathan txts me A LOT but i figure hes just being friendly. Last weekend i had a sleepover with my other friends kayla and whitney. My journal/diary (dont laff) was laying open. They didnt see it. So i put it in my closet. Made them promise NOT to read it. And went to the bathroom. STUPID RIGHT? So yesterday at school kayla told me they read this one page where id written an imaginary letter to nathan about how i liked him. (Im sorry i would have read it too so dont be mad at them) so now they kno! And im scared if they tell nathan, kenzie or soph theyll be mad at me...... and i dont want to hurt nathan cuz he REALLY likes sophie. But hes kinda weirded out cuz shes a lezbian and is goin out with kenzie. Also, kenzie likes soph and nathan and soph likes kenzie and nathan and nathan loves soph but im not sure kenzie... HELP!